If I Wanted to Ensure I NEVER Gained From PE… Here’s Exactly What I’d Do

Want to stay stuck forever?

Here’s the foolproof, time-tested, results-repelling strategy:

1) Be Wildly Inconsistent

Train twice a day, every day… until my dick stops working.
Take a week off to recover. Maybe two for good measure.
Then train sporadically whenever I remember — or feel motivated.
Repeat the cycle forever.
Never grow.

2) Chase “Feeling the Stretch” — Not Actual Results

No need to measure if I actually elongated or expanded my penis.
As long as I felt a good tug and got sore after, that’s all the evidence I need that it’s working.
Stretch Sensation and Soreness = Growth, right?

3) Expect Overnight Results — Then Try to Force Them

I trained yesterday. Where’s my inch?
I’ll try it one more time before I give up.
But yesterday wasn’t enough.
So, I better double the force and time today.
That’ll definitely make it grow.

4) Blame Genetics, Drugs, and the Illuminati

Tell myself I’m cursed.
That other guys only gained because of genetics, PEDs, or divine intervention.
Or their just straight up lying. Their proof pictures are photoshopped.
It wasn’t their consistency, discipline and intelligent training.
My failure is the universe’s fault — not mine.
It’s definitely not because I’m inconsistent, unfocused, and not following a plan. No way.

5) Measure Obsessively

Morning wood? Measure.
After breakfast? Measure again.
Pre-session? Obviously measure.
Post-session? Definitely measure.
Afternoon boredom? Grab the ruler.
Then I’d spiral every time the number’s the same or gasp lower than my all-time best.
Bonus: I’d use the imperial system for minimum accuracy and maximum confusion.

6) Change Force, Time, and Frequency Daily — To “Confuse” My Dick

Muscle confusion works for gym bros, right?
So my routine needs some dick confusion.
I’ll train heavy one day, light the next.
10 minutes today, 2 hours tomorrow.
No Routine. No Progression. Just Pure Confusion.

7) Don’t Track a Damn Thing

Tracking is for nerds.
I’ll just “remember” what I did last session.
And the one before that. And last month too.
No Log. No Feedback.
Who needs data when you’ve got vibes?

8) Try Every New “Hack” I See Online

Compression hanging on Monday.
Bundled extending on Tuesday.
Rapid interval length pumping with heat and vibration on Wednesday.
Then I’d panic that I’m neglecting girth, so Thursday is pumping-assisted clamping.
But wait… I can’t skip length! So vibration extending on Friday.
Back to reddit and the forums on Saturday.
Declare none of it works on Sunday.
Maybe I’ll try manuals on Monday…

9) “Strengthen” My Pelvic Floor Until I Break It

All the internet guru’s are saying how important it is to have a strong pelvic floor.
So I’ll do 500 kegels a day.
During hanging. While pumping. Mid clamping.
Ignore fatigue, tightness and hard flaccid.
"Strong" pelvic floor, weak erections. Great trade.

10) Follow a Set Progression — No Matter What

Add a pound of force every week — because the internet guru said so.
Ignore the pain, tanked EQ and obvious signs of overtraining.
No need to listen to my body. I’m following the plan.
I’ll progress at all costs. Even if the cost is actually regressing.

11) Treat My Body Like Garbage

Sleep 4 hours.
Live on junk food and energy drinks.
Sit at a desk staring at a screen 8 hours a day.
Then sit on a sofa staring at a screen an additional 8 hours.
Move as little as possible.
I don’t have time to exercise.
Forget water — that’s for plants.
Then wonder why I have no energy, poor EQ, and no growth.

12) Be Half-In, Half-Out

I’m “100% committed”... when I feel motivated.
I’ll do PE daily… as long as I have time.
But if something comes up? Eh. I’ll skip a few days.
Consistency is optional, right?

13) Max Out Stimulus. Ignore Recovery

No rest days. Just grind.
I’m tired, sore, and my EQ is in the toilet?
Perfect — time to crank up the force.
No pain, no gain. More is better and rest is for the weak.
At least that's what the bodybuilding magazines told me.

And If I Wanted Guaranteed Growth?

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✅ The number 1 cause of PE failure and Injury (and how to avoid it)
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